Oct 29, 2018
HAPPY MONDAY !!!
hope everyone had a lovely weekend and ready to get this week started! i know i am because we may be taking baby boy jax home this week -- in just a few days most likely! in case you missed it, my baby boy has been in NICU for almost two weeks! he arrived early at 34 weeks and 4 days, had a little bit of respiratory issues, but by day 4 improved and has just been working on feedings. in the last couple days he completely turned the corner, stopped being lazy and started eating on his own! so if he continues to eat well & gain weight he should be coming home this week! i am so excited to have him home! so on that note, i thought this would be the perfect time to share my birth story with you! i really wish i had done this with baby C... anywho lets get started!
also warning -- these pics are not glamorous at all but they show real life -- real labor without any anesthesia..
so here's what happened . . .
on tuesday night, october 16th i just started getting this feeling like i may go into labor soon -- i wasn't exactly feeling contractions but i kept having to go to the bathroom - - number two (sorry TMI) but that's what kinda gave me an idea that i was maybe going to go into labor soon. it's like the body's way of clearing out and preparing you for labor.. and i felt like i was going to bathroom or feeling like i had to go every five mintues or so and wasn't getting much sleep.. but still nothing like full blown labor or anything that concerning that made me do anything different..
the next day, wednesday, october 17th, we went about our normal day, we took baby C to play in the little play area at the mall, and i remember mentioning to the hubby that i thought i was having contractions -- they were definitely not painful, just tightening and some pressure in my bottom every once in a while, and i was trying to just go about my day so i was paying much attention to them until later that afternoon when i decided i should text my really good friends, who are also nurses i work with (in case you didn't know this - i am a labor and delivery nurse), about how and what i was feeling. i first texted them right before 2pm that day and told them about the night before, going to the bathroom frequently and that i started feeling like i had to go again and it felt like pressure in my bottom was becoming more consistent and much more noticeable. my friends and i went back and forth about what i should do because i had a preterm delivery before and they wanted me to be prepared and have time to get to the hospital, but i was very hesitant because i wasn't uncomfortable at all. i just felt like going to the bathroom -- at this point its about 3pm and me and my friends are trying to figure out what our game plan should be, am i in labor? how much longer should i wait.. should i head to the hospital and have them meet me there or should they come to my house and assess me at home (haha nurse life). so my friends and i continue to go back and forth about what i should do, its now almost 4pm and baby C is still napping, so i tell them i have to get her up and feed her.. and that i want to wait another hour or so and see how i feel before heading to the hospital.. haha and maybe then drive myself to hospital and my hubby could meet me later.. my one friend decides she should just come over to my house, check me herself to see if i am any more dilated than i was the last time i was in the hospital.. my friend lives about an hour away from me, so this was perfect because that bought me more time..
my friend arrives to my house around 5:15pm, she checks me and i am about 4cm and the baby is really low so we decide lets just go to the hospital because my contractions are also becoming more frequent, but not much more uncomfortable. i talk with my hubby and we decide my friend will take me to the hospital, and he will meet me at the hospital once baby C goes to sleep for the night, and his brother can come over to stay with her. so my friend drives me to the hospital and in the car my contractions start to get a litte more noticeable and some are getting kind of uncomfortable. i can't remember the exact time, but we probably get to the hospital around 6pm -- my friend had called them to tell them i was coming since we work there (get a little VIP treatment hehe), so we stop into triage, the nurse checks me and i'm still about 4cm, but since i am early and contracting pretty regularly i knew i would get admitted, so i did and up to labor and delivery i go! they get me all admitted, the doctor comes in and we tell her we want to wait for my husband to get there and then maybe break my bag of water to get things going a litte quicker because if i was in labor i did not want this to drag out over house and hours.
a little before 8pm, maybe like 7:45ish, my hubby arrives and were ready to get the show on the road.. the doctor comes in, and checks me and i'm only 5cm, we have a quick discussion as to whether she agrees it is ok to break my bag of water and she says yes, so at 8pm on the dot the doctor breaks my water. now with baby C my water broke and the painful contractions happened pretty quickly after. this time i felt like it took awhile for it to kick in, maybe about 15-20 min.. then they start to get uncomfortable and i am in hands and knees, while my friend puts counter pressure on my hips and rubs my back. my other friend is also here and i remember them taking turns rubbing my back and helping me get through the contractions.. they start to get pretty painful, and i was contracting like every minute, not much rest in between, so we decide i should get in the shower.. at this point i have no idea what time it is and it just felt like i was in the shower for awhile.. maybe 20-30 minutes -- completely naked laying over a birthing ball with hot water hitting my back -- it felt really good to be in the shower. i started getting more uncomfortable and started feeling more pressure but not the kind of pressure like he was coming soon -- but the nurse and my friends decide i should go back to the bed and check me to see where i'm at.. at that point i believe i was 7-8cm.. we decide i should stand by the bedside for a little bit and i think at this point i lose control for a minute and i remember just crying and saying "i don't know what to focus on anymore"! i never asked for any pain medication but i felt like omg can i do this, it hurts so freaking bad.. a little more time passes and my friend says lets check you, and i'm like i better be really close, if not complete and ready to push! well i wasn't! i was about 8-9cm and i thought i was gonna lose it because i also felt like he wasn't coming down lower, i also remember thinking omg i have to push still, is that pain going to be worse than what i am feeling right now.. i think i even asked my friend is the pain going to be worse, and she told me no, you'll feel better when you push.. but i was in so much pain, and my friend asked me what position i wanted to be in, and i just remember saying "i don't know!!" later my friend told me they weren't sure what i should do, but then decided to put me in what i thought (at that time) the WORST position everrrrr! they laid me down all the way over on my left side with my top (right) leg way over my body and kinda hanging off the bed.. all i remember was that i was so mad she put me in this position because it was so so uncomfortable but my friend forced me to stay in this position and i think i stayed like this for maybe two contractions and BAM!!!!!! all of a sudden the feeling completely changed and i just kept screaming --
I HAVE TO PUUUUUUSH! I HAVE TO PUSH!!!!
but i wouldn't move, so i think my friends helped me get onto my back and i don't even remember when the doctor came in or everyone else for that matter, i couldn't even open my eyes. here is what it literally felt like -- a very large, very hard poop was trying to blast out of me and i was screaming and i felt like i was pushing so hard because i could not help it! i'm pretty sure the entire floor heard me i could not stop screaming. i think i pushed like five times and then relief when his head came out, and even more relief when the rest of his body came out. omg were my friends right, it felt sooooo good to push and it felt amazing when he finally came out!
i delivered my baby boy at 9:42pm.
only one hour and 42 minutes after the doctor broke my water, to me it felt like eternity, but itwas actually super fast! thank goodness because i don't know how much more i could've handled. i also do not understand how women delivery without any anesthesia and don't make much noise. i could not help but scream and after i delivered i was completely hysterical for the first couple of minutes. not because i was in pain because i actually wasn't in pain but i was just so OVERWHELMED and AMAZED that i just did that. i delivered my baby without any pain medication, i felt bad ass and super strong and so proud of myself.
truly amazing what our bodies are capable of, what were capable of. seriously so amazing! and i have to say i literally could NOT have done it without the support and coaching of my two friends. i could not thank them enough.. they said the right things, did the right things, they were there for me. i have to say if it is your plan to go naturally, not only should you take classes but you defintiely need someon as your support person that will be assertive and know ways to help you cope through all of that. my hubby was also amazing, he came in and said the right things at thr right time, and i was happy and grateful that he was ok with stepping back and letting my friends take care of me. i was so afraid that i was scaring him toward the end but he was totally fine!
i have to say that this birth experience was not like what i was expecting, i mean i had no idea how it was going to turn out. with baby C i tried to go without an epidural but ended up getting one around 7cm and the epidural worked great, no issues but i gave myself a hard time for a few weeks about not sticking to my plan to go unmedicated but i got over it and am grateful that i also had a good birth experience.. i am so proud and happy i had a different but still good birth experience this time and as weird as this may sound after it was all over, i was a little bit sad that it was over and that the experience is over. i don't know if i'll ever do it again but this is an experience i will never forget.
thank you so much for reading my birth story! i got such a great response from IG about sharing my story and also wanting to follow along my postpartum journey, so i am excited to share that with you! let me know if there is anything specific you'd like to know and i'll do my best to cover it!